indechotal_546's Journal

wrote this while sitting in abandoned car
hello there? first entry:
Why does this always occur in my life?
too good to be true? most likely is? and or i just get bored fast. Which really does put shame to me.
i wish there was one particle that makes me overjoyed with happiness and life,
but there is, not a person or thing.
more of a memory. walking down the street, feeling like you belong there. your first friends, family are there,
when you get threatend to have it back, you refuse. you beg. just to stay where you are. why so? because there's something i would never leave. you? sure.

_ oNe of these days, it will go away. I will not be looking forward to anything. meaning i will be happy where i am. i ponder, when would that happen? never? i think so.not great to say, i will never be happywhere i am. but. its true? i will always want better. another example of human selfishness and greed._

*Ever realize how, going somewhere you dont want to or intend to, gets you somwhere you want to never leave.
i believe it all happens for a reason. not saying that to make self feel better when in pain or suffer. just aimlessly thinking of how i got to Cary.
All happened through suffering and sobbing. im past that of course, but i always look back and wish..if only i knew, so many years of pain would be worth it?
....but then agian, if i knew, i wouldnt know now.

^^^^^mindlessly walking around railroad tracks. yes that was me an hour ago. probably mistaken for troublemaker teen? sterotypes. you can say you hate then and are meaningless. but everyone said it at one time or another.
dont you hate those obnoxious people who dribble out there arrogant opinion, because they dont know any better? thats commen in nc. of course there are the select few that are from here, that by my standards are pure greatness, and have a different way of thinking. yes different. youd expect me to say the same, but that wouldnt be fun at all, who would i have fun debating with?? :}

...well i just sprang a bunch of journal entrys at once, thanks for reading if you got this far?..hah

Current Mood: calm
Current Music: skinnypuppy.

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